OMG did you know there's a Museum of Ice Cream now in New York City? Are you just finding out about this? Do you think that would be a fun thing to do?
Too bad. By the time the news hit The New York Times, all 30,000 tickets for the limited-time, summer-only pop up museum were sold out.
Thanks to being a loyal Gothamist reader, I found out about the museum on July 9th and promptly bought four tickets at $15/each face value. I put my tickets up for sale last week on Craigslist for a day for $150, a 900% markup, just to see if they would sell. I had 5 inquiries within 24 hours, and one threatening email telling me, "That's honestly ridiculous, greedy and downright outrageous. I hope you have zero luck selling these tickets." While the lady had a point, she clearly didn't realize how far people are willing to go to experience this limited-time engagement.
If you're shit out of luck and don't want shell out one hundred fifty smackaroos, don't fret: Little Girl Big Mouth is here to show you exactly what you're missing. Sorry. (Not sorry.)
Room 1: Ice cream! That you eat!
I had a pretty deep rooted fear that the Museum of Ice Cream was just going to involve looking at ice cream and talking about ice cream and there wouldn't be any real ice cream consumption. Thankfully, my suspicions were proved wrong within two seconds of entering the building. You start the tour with a custom scoop of ice cream made especially for the museum.
Different local ice cream vendors will be offering scoops of custom creations depending on when you visit the museum. Scoop schedule:
7.29 - 8.8: Blue Marble & Kellogg's 8.10 - 8.15: Oddfellows Ice Cream Co. 8.17 - 8.22: McConnell's Fine Ice Cream & Maman 8.24 - 8.31: Chinatown Ice Cream Factory 8.8 & 8.15: Black Tap
Room 2: Edible balloons that aren't ice cream but are still fun
This room is called the "cone room" because it's decorate with a bunch of waffle cone paraphernalia, but the real star of the show is the candy balloon filled with helium that they hand each patron. The balloon is pretty sticky and disgusting but the results are fun:
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Room 3: Creating the world's biggest sundae with freakish non-melting ice cream
This room was a dud. They tell you some history about ice cream and then ask everyone to pick up a sticky scooper and spoon out some magical non-melting ice cream to throw on top of a goblet. You don't get to put anything in your mouth in this room, so it is inherently less fun. They also encourage you to take a selfie with the oversized bowl of unknown substance. Non-melting ice cream is an abomination and it upsets me.
Room 4: The chocolate room, where you can put things in your mouth again
Chocolate! Everyone loves chocolate! This was mostly a space filled with projector screens showing images of flowing liquid chocolate. There was a chocolate fountain in the corner but they tell you in advance not to touch it or drink from it, which I get for hygenic reasons, but still a bummer. Thankfully, there are individually wrapped Dove chocolates all over this room for you to eat while marveling at the melting imagery on the walls.
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Room 5: This is what you came for: the (fake) sprinkle pool
The sprinkle pool at the MOIC is probably going to be in the top 5 things instagrammed in NYC this summer. The museum has been pushing this image hard in their promotional efforts, and for good reason: the thing is pretty fucking cool and everyone looks glamorous in a backdrop of rainbows. The caveat: it's not real sprinkles. The pool is filled with little plastic beads that you find in between your toes hours later. Next to the pool, there are plastic bins filled with gummies, more chocolate, and other sugar delivery devices, so you can literally have your cake and eat it too, or in this case, have your candy and eat it in a pool full of imitation sprinkles.
Room 6: Take this pill and eat this ice cream that came out of nowhere, you'll be fine, I swear.
As you enter this room, an attendant gives you a pellet of concentrated synsepalum ducificum, more commonly known as magic berries (you can buy them on Amazon for $15/pack). The chemicals in the pellet bind to the sweet receptors on your tongue and make sour food taste sweet for about a half hour. To test the effects, a spooky glove-covered hand appears from behind a wall and hands you tart frozen yogurt and lemon slices.
Room 7: Tinder is here for some reason
The final room is sponsored in part by Tinder, which doesn't have much to do with ice cream, but okay sure we'll go with it. There's a giant ice cream sandwich you can swing on and an ice cream scoop see-saw. But, again, nothing to put in your mouth, so kind of a lackluster finale.
So that's the museum! I got to put things in my (little girl big) mouth in 5 out of 7 rooms, and that's more than I get in a normal museum, so this was an overall win. Go team!
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